How to Grow a Friend

Just something to ponder :thinking:

The best time to grow a best friend is before you need one!
Written or compiled by Joy Stevens


1. People Equal Friends.

There is a certain chemistry with friends just as in a love relationship. Therefore, contact with other people is the first building block to grow a friend. Friends can’t grow in a vacuum. Best friends take time.

2. Talking Is Essential Among Friends.

Talking between friends requires reciprocity. In a mutually satisfying friendship, both friends talk and both friends listen. Friends talk appropriately to each other.

3. Friends Acknowledge Friends.

Friends acknowledge each other when talking. Many conflicts in your personal relationships can be avoided if you will take the time to acknowledge other’s feelings and points of view.

4. Friends Listen to Friends.

Listening to friends in an important step in building a closer friendship. We often take listening for granted, never realizing what it means to really listen to a friend.

5. Friends Attend to Friends.

Friends focus during conversations. Friends pay attention in conversations. It means that your ears, your eyes, your body and your feelings are all focused on that person at the time.

6. Friends Show Empathy With Friends.

Empathy is identifying with your friend’s feelings and seeing life through your friend’s eyes. Confidences are freely given when they are received with empathy among friends.

7. Friends Touch Friends.

Touching is a warm form of communication between friends. When you see best friends communicating, you will notice friends “listen with their eyes,” stand close together, and touch comfortably.

8. Friends Praise Friends.

Affirmation is a powerful tool for growing a friend. Genuine praise can affect your friends’ lives. Be liberal with praise for all of your friends, including your casual ones.

9. Friends Are Loyal and Trustworthy.

Trust and loyalty go hand-in-hand for friends. Friends can trust you with their secrets, both large and small, because good friends never break a confidence. Good friends are forever loyal!

10. Friends are Equal.

Friends are on a seesaw. In a healthy relationship, friends are equals. Not 50/50 every time, of course, but with a true, lasting friendship it always evens out in the end.

11. Friends Reveal Their Feelings.

We feel closest to our friends when we are suffering together, when we feel like our friend needs us, or when we feel a friend has shared something of great importance with us.

12. Friends Do Not Mind Read.

The person who thinks, “If you really liked me, you could read my mind” can not have an adult friendship. No friend can read your mind. And you can not read your friend’s mind.


Beng Hafner is my name. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make.

My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.


Leave a Reply to techguy Cancel reply

  • great post!

    ah, finding a real TRUE friend, .isn’t easy..where are they, anyway?

    kidding :drunk:..glad i got mine…we’ve been both to heaven and hell, hands always clasped together..and my best friend is one treasure i value the most…luv yah christa babe :hug: (plugging pa ng name)

    BUT sad as it is, we do come across people who aren’t meant to be our friends…no matter how much we try…so ‘hang on to a real one’ when you find one, i say..for they do not grow either on trees.

  • hi thess,

    para sa akin, friendship is a comfy situation like home. where we can kick off our shoes and relax. but if i still have to be charming and/or performing, it’s not a relief.

    well, i think no one can grow or form a friendship until he/she realizes that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person.

    korek ka, hang on to real one. mahirap maghanap ng panibago :shy:

  • I did /have been doing all these 12 steps for friendship BUT still, this doesn’t made me as perfect package for it! *sigh*:running:

  • nice post ate beng. you know somehow i’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand friends changed.

    i have always feel a friend in you.

    p.s. my domain is now ready. now how do i use/download wordpress? does it cost anything? i totally have a zero-knowledge. i need help. thanks.

  • hallo cheh, i think even if we follow the 12 steps this doesn’t give us the guarantee to become a perfect friend. for there is no perfection in any kind of relationship.

    ako hindi rin perfect but i am hoping that those people who call me a friend would accept me they way i am. just like i accept them wholeheartedly the way they are :heartbeat: heavy words huh?

  • hi knoiz,

    you’re absolutely right. naniwala din ako na acceptance and understanding is the key. knoiz, your feeling is right…i am your friend. thank you :-).

    by the way, you can download wordpress for free abd there’s no need for you to register.

    here is the link:


  • Mutti, nahuli na naman ako(busy na naman)..di bale alam ko friend mo pa rin ako kahit anong mangyari…

    ang iyong makulit na friend,

    Mommy Ting

  • hi beng, nice post. i like the STEPS ‘pecially #10. FRIENDS are equal. it points out that whatever status one has in life, it is not a matter of consideration in choosing friends. minsan pa nga, yung opposite mo ang nagiging friend mo.

  • lam mo Beng noong magpapakamatay yong kaibigan ko sabi niya sa akin samahan mo akong magpakamatay…sabi…oo ba..yon pala pero sabi ko sa kanya sa 2nd flr lang ako ng bldg tatalon…hehehe..siya kasi sa 10th flr tatalon….hindi siya natuloy magpakamatay….hehehe

    pasensiya ka na ngayon lang ako nakabalik sa blog mo….tinuod day..happy weekend..

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Beng Hafner is my name. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make.

My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.

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