I Just Don’t Know

I guess I’m stressed or maybe I’m depressed, oh what the heck…I just don’t know why I’m feeling bad. Im Moment, möchte ich einfach nur meine Ruhe haben. Einfach nicht denken, nicht hören…einfach gar nichts wissen. Aber wie soll das denn gehen?

O, naguguluhan kayo sa mga pinagsasabi ko ano? Meron lang akong galit sa kaloob-looban ko na di ko mailabas. Gustohin ko man, wala ring mangyayari dahil blood is thicker than water ika nga. May mga tao kasing (partly) naging kasangkot sa buhay ko na parang mga parasites. Mga taong walang paninindigan sa buhay at walang alam kundi ang umasa at kurakutan itong kasama ko. Itong kasama ko naman na malambot pa sa monay, sige rin ang kunsinte tapos at the end ako ang pinag ngangawaan. Bakit ba laging ako ang nagiging shock absorber ng mga tao? Ito nalang ba ang papel ko sa buhay? Do I really have to be understanding and patient all the time? I am sure you will say no, and yet how can I be different? It is what people expect from me. Oh shock, I just realized na ako ang may tupak.

I think I should bang my head on the wall several times para magiging clear ulit ang isipan ko. Namputsang buhay ito oo.

Beng

Beng Hafner is my name. Well, most of you know that already. I am a mother of 3 and a granny of 3 cute kids. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make. My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.

You may also like...

16 Responses

  1. karina says:

    hi tita beng,

    i hope you will be fine too. I’m not also well these days. just got a heavy heart.

    be happy too!

    regards,
    Karina

  2. Sofie says:

    Ate Bennnggggggg!!! miss na kita!!!!!!

    Anong sasabihin ko, wala lang. Makikinig na lang ako sa yo. Ay nagbabasa lang pala…
    Enjoy the rest of the week! Hope, ok ka na uli!!!

  3. Jing says:

    We´re on the same boat. Happens all the time, everytime. Pagod na rin ako kakaisip sa mga bagay na yan kaya everytime nagpuputak itong isa dito sa poder ko tungkol sa kurakotchina blues ng dating esmi eh, shrug my shoulders na lang ako. Nag wish lang ako sa kanya na wag na wag nya ako ngawaan tungkol sa mga bagay na yan, baka sariling sikap ang ending nya.

    One time ginawa nya yun, binigyan ko siya ng dhl paket na empty at sabi ko balutin mo sarili mo at ipadala kita pabalik doon doon sa pinanggalingan ng problema mo, bumili ka ng kaaway mo, wag ako. Tumahimik!!!! mwahahaha!!!

  4. sha says:

    day katawa sa gamay mahal ang anti wrinkles cream hala paminaw ni jing….

    am busy day well keeping myself busy para di sad ta mag break down

  5. Beng says:

    hello day kars,

    thank you dear, sana ikaw din…just take it easy malay mo baka kayo talaga at the end 🙂

  6. Beng says:

    Sofieeee, I miss you tooo :hug: magbakasyon ka ulit dito sige na. Haay naku, regarding the above issue…bale buntong hininga ko lang yan. Di ko maidaan sa ibang paraan :angry:

  7. Beng says:

    dios mio day jing,

    i am wondering why these guys are so duwag to face their ex brunhildas at sabihin ang katutuhanan na sobra na ang kanilang mga pinaggagawang pangungurakot. bakit hindi nila kayang sabihin sa kanila na “tama na!!!”. i am so feed of witnessing the whole scenario na pabalik-balik lang.

  8. Beng says:

    hi sha,

    alam kong napakamahal ng anti wrinkle cream, but i just can’t avoid feeling mad…mabuang naman gani ko niani :hummp sagdi lang kay mangutlo ko sa mga ginanulti ni jingga.

    i hope everything is okay with you out there. hugs and kisses from all of us and best regards from the inaaping fafa G.

  9. auee says:

    The next time your “kasama” wants you to listen you can feign a headache & run away. :devious
    Because that situation will not change, unless you tell the person afront na “tama na”. Cheer up, dear. I-kiber mo na lang

  10. gail says:

    ate beng… na feel ko naman ang galit…
    stay lovely and think of happy thoughts (well try too)

  11. rhada says:

    i know exactly how you feel….cheer up though! things will be fine!!!

  12. KK says:

    Ang puso mo dear.

    I hope that by blogging about how you felt, some of your burden is lifted off your shoulders. We can’t change the people around us but we can change the way we react to the situation. This is the time you count your blessings and take Omega-3 vitamins then get a little bit of sunshine(works for me).

  13. Beng says:

    hi auee,

    that’s a very good idea :idea, many thanks…i’m feeling a bit better now.

  14. Beng says:

    hi gail, congratulations. ikaw ha, di mo man lang ako binalitaan. re happy thoughts, it is sometimes difficult to do that but i am trying 🙂

  15. Beng says:

    hi rhads,

    thank you so much dear friend.

    hello KK,

    i’m feeling fine now, thank you so much. ayaw ko sanang ilabas ito dito but sometimes i just have the urge to shout it out. since i don’t want to do it here at home, dito nalang sa blog. thank you so much for the advise :luvu:

  16. SexyMom says:

    am sure by now, medyo cool down ka na. time heals, sometime slowly, sometimes fast. yes, Bella, life is sometimes not fair. what is important is how we deal with this unfairness. hugs!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *