Midlife Crisis

Friend: Dinig ko nandito ka raw last two weeks ago, bakit hindi mo ako tinawagan?
Me: Sorry, pero kaya kami napagawi diyan ay dahil sa holy first communion ng pamangkin ko. Kasama ko ang aking buong pamilya kaya hindi ako nagkaroon ng panahon para isa-isahin ko kayong bisitahin.
Friend: I was so sad, kong kailan kita kinakailangan saka ka wala…I feel so bad at the moment and I don’t know what to do.

And the phone conversation went on and on…our topic was mainly about stress, depression and midlife crisis.

Mukhang marami ang mga dumaranas nito ngayon. That friend of mine who called me is currently under going the famous life begins at… or ika nga midlife. She asked me for an advise what to do? Ouch! Kahit nadaanan ko na ang process of midlife transition na ito nahirapan pa rin akong magbigay ng payo sa kanya. Dahil iba-iba ang factor nito, merong external at meron ding internal at saka we have different types of personalities.

Fact is that ‘Midlife Crisis’ is something that happens to many of us at some point during our lives (usually, at about 40, give or take 20 years). It is a natural process (according to my ‘Lolo’ Carl Jung) and it is a normal part of maturing. Pero, midlife crisis can sometimes feel very uncomfortable, and may cause people to make radical lifestyle changes that can be very damaging and are regretted later. Hmmm,I made radical changes of my lifestyle before…but I never regret it. Oh wait, I’m warning you pipol of God, huwag ako gawing example dahil nakayanan kong tayuan ang lahat. Ibig sabihon I have an inner strength at saka iba din ang takbo ng buhay ko noon kaya ako nagpasyang maging ibong adarna.

Kaibigan, kong sakaling kasalukuyang di mo alam kong ano ang iyong nararamdaman. Yon bagang di mo maiintindihan kong natatae ka ba o naiihi :gasp: baka yon na nga yon. I mean baka may midlife crisis ka nga na di mo lang alam. Okay para ka maliwanagan, ito ang ibat-ibang palatandaan nito:

  • Diskontento ka sa buhay o sa lifestyle mo na nagdulot ng ligaya sa iyo ng maraming taon.
  • Boredom with things and or people that have until now held great interest and dominated your life
  • You are feeling adventurous at gusto mong gumawa ng bagay na lubusang kakaiba sa mga dati mong ginawa
  • Questioning the meaning of life, and the validity of decisions clearly and easily made years before.
  • Nalilito ka, di mo na kilala ang sarili mo, and you are asking yourself hanggang dito nalang ba ang buhay ko or where your life is going.

How to deal with it?

If you know yourself and if you do understand the process of midlife transition, it can make it easier (though still not easy) to navigate your way through it. But if you do not understand both, then it can really feel like a ‘crisis’ and as you attempt to come to terms with it, you may find yourself making poor or irrational decisions that you regret at a later date – example: leaving your job or spouse and throwing away the security that you have built up in the first part of your adult life. Ngayon kong talagang hirap na hirap ka na and you don’t know how to deal with it, maybe it is worth considering a psychotherapy or counselling na nga (pero hoy, huwag sa akin dahil I’m not the right person for this case). Who knows may this can help you steer your way through difficult midlife circumstances without going off the rails. Gets mo vah o ang labo kong kausap?

Before I sign off, I would like to mention that the last sign of midlife crisis on the list reminds me of the song “Do You Know Where You’re Going To” of Diana Ross, theme from the Mahogany. I found the lyrics and so I’m going to dedicate this song to all who are currently going through midlife crisis.

PLEASE CLICK HERE

Do You Know Where You’re Going To

D G7+ Em
Do you know where you’re going to ?
F#7 Bm D7+
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
C#m7/5- F#7 B
Where are you going to, do you know?
D G7+ Em
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
F#7 Bm D7+
When you look behind you there’s no open door
Em F#7 B
What are you hoping for, do you know ?
C# /B F# G#7
Once we were standing still in time
C#m F#7 B
Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds
C# / B A#m7 D#m7
You knew how I loved you but my spirit was free
G#m7 C#7 F#4/7 F#7
Laughing at the questions thyat you once asked of me

D G7+ Em
Do you know where you’re going to ?
F#7 Bm D7+
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Em F#7 B
Where are you going to, do you know ?

SOLO : D G7+ Em F#7 Bm D7+ G7+ F#7

B C#/B F# G#7
Now looking back at all we planned
C#m F#7 B
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
C#/B A#m7 D#7 Go
Why must we wait so long before we see
G#m7 C#4/7 C#7 F#7
How sad the answers to those questions can be ?

D G7+ Em
Do you know where you’re going to ?
F#7 Bm D7+
Do you like the things that life the things is showing you ?
Em F#7 B
Where are you going to, do you know ?
D G7+ Em
Do you get what you’re hoping for ?
F#7 Bm D7+
When you look behind you there’s no open door
Em F#7 D
What are you hoping for, do you know ?

*****

Beng

Beng Hafner is my name. Well, most of you know that already. I am a mother of 3 and a granny of 3 cute kids. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make. My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.

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