I hate watching myself in the mirror lately because I only see the Beng version of Miss Piggy. Several snapshots that were taken during my birthday party has proven that I gained several kilos again. Shit! I envy those women who could eat what they like and hardly gain extra pounds.

I had been once a diet slave before I got pregnant with my youngest. I was like a fashion model in ways of eating manner, who avoided to eat food containing carbohydrates and fat and sugar. Salad with white meat and brown bread was the only food I eat. Later, I have even tested how far I can go. I was weighing 43 kilos already, but I still had the feeling I’m fat so I aimed to weigh 40 kilos. I end up vomiting the food I have just eaten, most specially during parties. Well, I think the reason is very obvious, huh?

One time, my friend Ann and me went swimming with our kids. The four of us took the big dressing room for us to change our clothings. As I was undressing myself, Ann gasped and said: Oh my god Beng, have you seen yourself lately in the mirror? You are all bones! She was right, when I was at home I stand naked infront of a life size mirror and saw a skeleton. My rib cage, shoulder bones, collar bones and hip bones wing showing. I was never aware of that the whole time because I was only using the bathroom mirror where I can only see my face. It was Ann who opened my eyes and my mind to stop the madness. I recovered and gained weight…from 41 to 45 kilos. Fourty five kilos pa rin ako ng makilala ko ang aking asawa and until I got pregnant with Gillian.

The image you see on the left was taken five years ago. And the one on the right is just two weeks old.

I’m now fourty four (44) and overweight…don’t ask me how many kilos because I’m afraid to step on our weighing scale. Today, I am well determined to start having diet again but in a moderate way. It is very difficult to get motivated since I already accepted I’m aging. Pero kailangan kong gawin kong ayaw kong magiging si Dabiana. It’s a very hard work and I still have a long long way to go. Now I’m on it…all I need is a portion of self decipline.

Temporarily no homemade Padesal for breakfast.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 27th, 2006 at 3:04 pm and is filed under Whatsoever. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.