Why On Earth? (Part 2)

Latest development about the Pinay and her child.

In my previous post…I said about “It’s her life, it’s her decision so she has to be ready for the coming consequences.” The consequences that I meant here is the result when I’m going to call the authority. I never mentioned this to you because I was still thinking of a better solution. A solution that would save the two of them.

I had been hoping that she would call me again yesterday. I was waiting and waiting til 2:00 A.M, but no call from her. Nakapag desisyon na akong tumawag sa Jugendamt para sabihin sa kanila ang tungkol sa kalagayan ng bata. But at the same time pinag-iisipan ko pa rin ang magiging resulta nito, dahil once I made the call…there’s no way back. It’s not that I’m afraid…pero ayaw ko lang na mangyayari na kukuhanin ng Jugendamt ang bata sa kanyang ina. Even if the mother is dumb and maybe careless…kailangan pa rin siya ng kanyang anak. Siya lang ang nag-iisang tao dito na related sa bata. Kaya kaninang umaga, napagpasyahan kong tawagan muna siya at baka sakaling mabago ko pa ang isip niya.

Our phone conversation:

Me: Good morning R. kumusta ka at ang bata?

R.: Mabuti naman, Beng may sasabihin ako sa yo.

Me: Listen R. hindi ako tumawag para makipagtsismisan sa iyo. Let me get straight to the point…are you really going to stick to your decision of staying there and wait til you get your permanent visa?

R.: Natatakot ako Beng na baka may masama siyang gawin sa amin kong iiwanan ko siya.

Beng: Ano? Sira ka pala eh…may ginawa na nga siyang masama sa inyo habang nandiyan kayo tapos…dios ko hoy gumising ka! You said muntik ng gahasain ng asawa mo ang bata…hihintayin mo pa ba na tuluyang may mangyari sa kanya? Kinuha mo siya doon sa mga magulang mo kaya panindigan mo rin ang responsibilidad mo sa anak mo dito. Alam mo, kaya ako tumawag dahil gusto kitang tanungin ulit…tatanggapin mo ba ang tulong na inaalok ko sa iyo o hindi? Dahil kong hindi, I am so very sorry mapipilitan akong tawagan ang Jugendamt. Kapakanan ng bata ang bibigyan ko ngayon ng konsiderasyon at hindi ikaw dahil ayaw mo. See, I just can’t sit here at home and do as if I know nothing. Naintindihan mo ba ako?

It took her awhile before she answered my question. She was crying and sobbing. I know it was hard for her to decide but she has no choice. Irgendwann im Leben müssen wir eine schwere Etscheidung treffen, ob wir das wollen oder nicht. Whether we like it or not…sometime in our life we must have to make a difficult decision. Hers is now.

To make the story short…I finally convinced her to move to the Women’s Shelter. I told her to move quick before her husband gets home from work. I instructed her to pack just their clothes, important documents and some toys that her daughter possess. All the rest of their belongings will be taken care by the social worker.

Now some of you might think or judge me as pakialamira at nanghihimasok sa buhay ng may buhay…but that’s okay, I can accept that. I’d rather be called that way than being hunted by my conscience when something happened to the child. I broke a marriage…but I save a young life. And that’s the only thing that counts. This Pinay will certainly recover from the emotional stress she is currently undergoing. But time heals everything! We adults can handle hardships that we encounter in life. Children are different…what they experienced now will affect to their future life and their being.

P.S I would like to thank everyone who has given me moral support. It helped me a lot 🙂

Beng

Beng Hafner is my name. Well, most of you know that already. I am a mother of 3 and a granny of 3 cute kids. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make. My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.

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25 Responses

  1. tintin says:

    My heart jumps with joy. My body would follow if not in such a public place. You did the better thing. Keep the mom and child together. I salute you! You know, I was recently at this seminar, and our trainer asked the question who amongst us had been molested as children. It was an emotional and empowering exercise. many raised their hands. I know that a lot of people who read this will be touched in more ways than one.

  2. pinayhekmi says:

    Dang, I wrote a long comment but it didn’t go through. Anyway the short of it: my heart jumps with joy! You did the best thing, keeping mom and child together.

  3. KnOizKi says:

    OMG, this a very serious issue. Ate my concern is your safety, eh baka bigla ka na lang balikan ng asawa nya at saktan kayo, (sana hindi naman). Do you also consider reporting this to the Phil Consulate nyo diyan and see what they can do para mabigyan protection ang mag-ina at ikaw na din?

    I think I am not making sense here but it looks like you’re taking the whole responsibilty kahit na ganun yung pag tulong mo sa bata baka ikaw pa ang mapahamak.

  4. Beng says:

    Tintin dear, thank you so much…but you don’t have to salute. See I also have a daughter, kagabi habang tinitingnan ko siya, it was the face of that child I saw.

    Can you imagine na para akong nabunutan ng tinik matapos kong ayusin ang lahat kanina. Ang luwag ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. Thank God tapos na ang problema. Regarding to the seminar you attended, I am impressed and I respect those who raised they hands. I am sure it took them a lot of courage to do so. Not all people who experienced such things are open. Most of them remain silent.

  5. Beng says:

    Tin, your long comment has been submitted :iloveu:

    Once again, many many thanks :hug:

  6. HEI! IN MY OPINION, YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. THINGS WILL BE VERY HARD FOR YOUR FRIEND THE NEXT MONTHS (AND SHE MAY BLAME YOU IN A FEW DAYS OR EVEN LATER) BUT IT IS FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. I PRAY THAT SHE WOULD HAVE THE STRENGHT NOT TO GO BACK TO HER HUSBAND.

    TAKE CARE!

  7. Beng says:

    Knoiz,

    Thanks for your concern but let me assure you he can’t harm me. Hindi niya ako kilala.The Pinay is my sister’s friend as infact she approached my sis first and my sis referred her to me. Mother and child are protected by the authorities kaya don’t worry, they are in safety.

    As to the consulate naman, hindi na ako nag-aksaya pang tumawag doon dahil alam ko kong ano ang isasagot nila. Oh sorry but we only entertain consular matters. Sad isn’t it?

  8. Beng says:

    Hello Al,

    This morning, I sounded like a Mother Superior to her. I made all points clear and I told her not to even think of going back to her husband. Orelse she will go to jail with him. She’s a very helpless creature and very ignorant. Sorry but that’s the truth. Kaya she really need someone who could show her the right way. My task is done…but it’s not yet the end. Kailangan ko rin kasi siyang alalayan morally until she can stand on her own feet.

    Thank you Al and take care too.

  9. sha says:

    BENG just guide her thru the changes am sure she will be fine in the long run

    tsk tsk tama ka dyan sa consulate lalo na sa mix marriages they will wash their hands.

    I hope when I come back I will meet her in diff circumtance na.

  10. dicey says:

    Wow, I managed to fisnish reading your tagalog post. Tagalog words are sometimes sooooo long. Anyway, I am glad that you were able to convince her to move into a Frauenhaus. Das Jugendamt wäre die letzte Möglichkeit gewesen. I just hope that her husband won’t convince her in reconciling.

  11. cheH says:

    you did it the right thing benggay!

  12. TAMA KA BENG, SHE NEEDS YOU MORE THAN EVER. LALO NA WALA YATANG KAMAG-ANAK ANG FRIEND MO DIYAN.

    GLAD I BUMPED INTO A GOOD SAMARITAN. 🙂 KONTI LANG ANG MGA KATULAD MO WHO WOULD GET OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HELP OTHERS.

  13. tekya says:

    ah..alam mo na sasabihin ko :yes:

  14. Beng says:

    sha, that’s what i’m doing now…tinawatagan ko siya twice a day, to give her the feeling that she’s not alone kahit wala ako doon.

  15. Beng says:

    hello dicey,

    fuer dein besuch habe ich mich sehr gefreut, herzlichen dank. du hast mich wirklich serh beeindruck…ich war auf deine seite und ich habe heraus gefunden dass du halb pinay-halb deutsch bist und lebt in hongkong :-).

    zu den thema, ja du hast recht das jugendamt wäre die letzte lösung gewesen. den beiden geht jetzt gut. ich bin sicher sie geht zu ihren mann nicht mehr zurück. ich habe sie gedroht…ja ja ich weiss ich bin brutal. es geht leider nicht anders.

  16. Beng says:

    cheh ich danke dir.

  17. Beng says:

    Al, ikaw naman oo…hindi po ako samaritan ano? I mean as a concerned kababayan, dapat lang tulungan ang nanganga-ilangan :blush:

    Tama ka sa sinabi mo…she needs me more than ever. I’m calling twice a day. Gusto ko sanang bisitahin kaya lang I have to find the right schedule kasi malayo ang area niya eh…it’s 6 hours to drive from here. Itinugon ko na lang siya sa kaibigan ko na nakatira doon. Para at least she has someone who can help her kong madalian.

  18. Beng says:

    thekya…oo darling alam ko na alam ko na ang gusto mong sabihin :hug:

    pagaling ka diyan :headache:

  19. annabanana says:

    you are an angel, beng! may the good Lord bless you more with this act of kindness that you have done. :hug:

  20. tekya says:

    ate benggay, mas ‘pogi’ boses ko ngayon, mala Louie Armstrong! :duh: …eh where are my buttones na po? na excite kasi makita si Melissa, nakalimutan na request ko, selos na ako nyan, hmp! :hissy: 😀

  21. Jing says:

    In the absence of the MOMS voice or power, someone has to step up doing the right thing for the kid. You did the best thing for the kid. As per the pinays marriage, nothing was broken when the matter of given a is already a big wreck.

    If you were on the same sinking boat as the family, you can only save one life(kid), unless the mom decides to swim fro survival, then it would be much better for the child.

    Good Job!!!

  22. Kiss My Mike says:

    Alam mo Ate Beng, I had mixed reaction about this at first. Pero in the end I realized, kung hindi mo gagawin yun, nobody’s ever gonna do something. Sometimes we really have to step up for a good cause.

    I admire your courage! Mwahhhh

  23. charles says:

    You did the right thing Ate Beng!!! Someone needs to step-in and smack some sense to some stupid cunt especially if it endangers also someone’s life. Anyways, I am also same as you Ate Beng. I can’t just sit around doing nothing knowing that something might go wrong.

  24. marvin says:

    Hi Beng! I’m glad you did what you just did. It must have been a difficult situation and there wasn’t an easy choice. Good on you. 🙂

  25. Beng says:

    Jingga, as always…you have spoken words that sooths my soul

    Thank you!

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