Latest development about the Pinay and her child.

In my previous post…I said about “It’s her life, it’s her decision so she has to be ready for the coming consequences.” The consequences that I meant here is the result when I’m going to call the authority. I never mentioned this to you because I was still thinking of a better solution. A solution that would save the two of them.

I had been hoping that she would call me again yesterday. I was waiting and waiting til 2:00 A.M, but no call from her. Nakapag desisyon na akong tumawag sa Jugendamt para sabihin sa kanila ang tungkol sa kalagayan ng bata. But at the same time pinag-iisipan ko pa rin ang magiging resulta nito, dahil once I made the call…there’s no way back. It’s not that I’m afraid…pero ayaw ko lang na mangyayari na kukuhanin ng Jugendamt ang bata sa kanyang ina. Even if the mother is dumb and maybe careless…kailangan pa rin siya ng kanyang anak. Siya lang ang nag-iisang tao dito na related sa bata. Kaya kaninang umaga, napagpasyahan kong tawagan muna siya at baka sakaling mabago ko pa ang isip niya.

Our phone conversation:

Me: Good morning R. kumusta ka at ang bata?

R.: Mabuti naman, Beng may sasabihin ako sa yo.

Me: Listen R. hindi ako tumawag para makipagtsismisan sa iyo. Let me get straight to the point…are you really going to stick to your decision of staying there and wait til you get your permanent visa?

R.: Natatakot ako Beng na baka may masama siyang gawin sa amin kong iiwanan ko siya.

Beng: Ano? Sira ka pala eh…may ginawa na nga siyang masama sa inyo habang nandiyan kayo tapos…dios ko hoy gumising ka! You said muntik ng gahasain ng asawa mo ang bata…hihintayin mo pa ba na tuluyang may mangyari sa kanya? Kinuha mo siya doon sa mga magulang mo kaya panindigan mo rin ang responsibilidad mo sa anak mo dito. Alam mo, kaya ako tumawag dahil gusto kitang tanungin ulit…tatanggapin mo ba ang tulong na inaalok ko sa iyo o hindi? Dahil kong hindi, I am so very sorry mapipilitan akong tawagan ang Jugendamt. Kapakanan ng bata ang bibigyan ko ngayon ng konsiderasyon at hindi ikaw dahil ayaw mo. See, I just can’t sit here at home and do as if I know nothing. Naintindihan mo ba ako?

It took her awhile before she answered my question. She was crying and sobbing. I know it was hard for her to decide but she has no choice. Irgendwann im Leben müssen wir eine schwere Etscheidung treffen, ob wir das wollen oder nicht. Whether we like it or not…sometime in our life we must have to make a difficult decision. Hers is now.

To make the story short…I finally convinced her to move to the Women’s Shelter. I told her to move quick before her husband gets home from work. I instructed her to pack just their clothes, important documents and some toys that her daughter possess. All the rest of their belongings will be taken care by the social worker.

Now some of you might think or judge me as pakialamira at nanghihimasok sa buhay ng may buhay…but that’s okay, I can accept that. I’d rather be called that way than being hunted by my conscience when something happened to the child. I broke a marriage…but I save a young life. And that’s the only thing that counts. This Pinay will certainly recover from the emotional stress she is currently undergoing. But time heals everything! We adults can handle hardships that we encounter in life. Children are different…what they experienced now will affect to their future life and their being.

P.S I would like to thank everyone who has given me moral support. It helped me a lot :)

Minsan, hindi ko maintindihan ang ibang tao…

May isang Pilipina na halos araw araw tumawag sa akin…nag-iiyak, magulo ang isip at humihingi ng payo kong ano daw ang kanyang dapat gawin. I’m blogging this not because it is my intension to embarrass the concerned person but because I am furious towards her reaction and decision. She started calling me before Christmas…kahabag-habag siyang pakinggan ng ikuwento niya sa akin ang takbo ng kanyang marital life. She told me that she has been beaten by her husband often times…but the last incident was worser than before. Her husband slapped her, kicked her and banged her head on the wall. I adviced her to see a doctor immediately and that she should ask for a medical certificate. And from there, she should go to the police station and report the said incident. Ito ang ipinayo ko sa kanya dahil siya na rin ang nagsabi na hindi na daw niya kaya ang sitwasyon kaya gusto niya ng makipaghiwalay. Lalong-lalo na at pinagtangkaang gahasain ng kanyang asawa ang kanyang anak na pitong taong gulang (her husband is not the biological father of her daughter). God in heaven…dapat niya talagang layuan ang taong ito bago may masamang mangyari sa bata.

She semed hesitant of doing her plans at first, she was worrying about where to live and how they survive because she has no permanent job. I fully understand her worries, so I reassured her and promised that I’ll arrange everything and that she has nothing to worry because she will get a full support from the goverment. After our phone conversation, I called my lawyer for the legal matters, I also called the Frauenhaus in her area (Women’s Shelter) para sila may matirhan temporarily habang wala pa siyang makitang appartment. I even called my best friend para siya masamahan at may masakyan.

I arranged and organized everything for her in just two days…kinakailangan niya na lang pumunta sa Bureau of Social Welfare so she can get some financial support. She asked or begged for my help and assistance kaya ko ginawa ang lahat para matupad ang kanyang hiling at kagustuhan. All she has to do was to grab the chance and opportunity if she really wanted to start anew. I no longer heard from her for almost 2 weeks. I thought she was just busy…but I was already thinking of calling her this weekend. But speaking of the devil, alas…she called me this morning, telling me: “oh Beng…I have a good news for you…we reconciled”. Natulala muna ako ng ilang saglit bago nakapagsalita. How would you react if you were in my shoes?Would you jump for joy? Knowing the fact that the guy is pedophile? Huh what a shit!!! Oh yes, she told me her reasons why she accepted the reconciliation approach of her husband. According to her, she is afraid that she and her daughter might be deported to Philippines if she is separated with her “bitter-half”. May ibang Pinay daw kasing nakapagsabi sa kanya na pauuwiin siya soonest aalis siya sa poder ng lalaki. Lalo na at tatlong taon pa lang siya dito at wala pang permanent resident permit. True! But her case is very different. This regulation has been made to prevent “sham marriages” in german ‘Scheinehe‘.

I know the rules and regulations here very well…she actually has the big chance to acquire visa without that monster. Pero mahirap kumbinsihin ang taong ayaw maniwala at walang tiwala. It’s her life, it’s her decision so she has to be ready for the coming consequences. I’m worried and I feel concerned about the child…but this woman’s only concern is their fucking visa.

If I were in her place…I’d rather risk loosing it and go back to where I came from, than risk the life of my only child. The child’s welfare is more important than anythingelse in this world!

Four (4) new Wordpress Themes! Now ready for you to download…for free. These themes are created for Wordpress 1.5 and 2.0. All themes are tested for bugs and they are IE and Mozilla browsers compatible. They are released under GPL, so folks, you are free to hack and modify any of them. If you choose to make your modified theme available to the public, do remember that you may only do so under the same license.

To install your downloaded theme, simply unzip the file and upload the complete folder into your Wordpress theme directory. You may login to your administration panel, then click Presentation nav, and activate the theme.

In case you found a bug, please don’t hesitate to report it here. If you have any question regarding my graphics or web design in general you may use the Message Board of my other site. Post your question and I will reply in the following 24 hours.

For a live preview, please proceed to Beseen Testblog and use “Theme Select”.

Download: Kauderwelsch (2 columns) View it here (go to sidebar and find Select Themes)	Download: The Beauty Within (3 columns) View it here (go to sidebar and find Select Themes)
Download: Vivacity (2 columns) View it here (go to sidebar and find Select Themes)	Download: Pop Art (2 columns) View it here (go to sidebar and find Select Themes)

	Small Image replacement or optimization: Need the small images in your template replaced? Send me your replacement image and I can help your images blend in by feathering, colorizing, etc. (Price is per image)
	Main Image replacement or optimization: Need the main image in your template replaced? Send me your replacement image and I can help your images blend in by feathering, colorizing, etc. (Price is per image)
	FrontPage Development: Need additional forms and pages for your site? Blog Pages design, Contact forms, Guest Books, etc. Or use this option for per hour tutoring.
	Your downloaded template changes: If you have downloaded a template from Wordpress and now find that making changes within FrontPage is entirely too overwhelming, I can convert, modify, and repackage the template for you. This normally takes 2 working days to complete. Contact me for specific details.
	EXCLUSIVE Full Template Design: I can modify one of my existing templates so that it is unique to your site by changing both the colors and template imagery used. *Or I can create you one of your choice (price might be higher depending on complexity of your request. This normally takes 5 working days to complete. Contact me for specific details.

It is practically impossible to give a quote if I don’t know what you need. It is like building a house, the cost will depend on how many rooms you want, on what kind of decoration etc.

If you know already approximatively what design you will have, I can make an estimation, if not, we can talk about what you have in mind. Don’t hesitate to contact me, via the form below.

Site Design Inquiry Form

[CONTACT-FORM]

Now you see me now you don’t! I am not hiding nor I neglected my blog…its just that I have so many things to do and to attend thus I have no time to write an update. My bloghosting business is running well as year 2006 started, kaya dito ngayon nakatuon ang aking time and attention. I haven’t said a word to most of you about this so if you don’t mind I would like to grab the opportunity to introduce to you BeSeen Hosting

In case you guys decide to acquire your own domain and web space…well, just don’t hesitate to contact me. You can visit my hosting site any time for more details.

And oh, I almost forgot to mention about Wordpress, Blogger and Pixelpost Theme Design. Because I realize that not everyone can get the perfect look for their site by using a free template, I offer custom design and modification services. Whether you need a few extra pages added to your existing template or need a template redesigned using your own special colors and images, I made a list of prices and fee schedule for your convenience.

A Site For A Good Cause
Here comes another project of mine which was silently launched last December 2005…introducing WE PINOYS, it is an online Filipino community for Pinoys around the whole globe. This site is not strictly for Pinoys alone…as infact we already have 2 Germans and one Swiss national as members. Our aim here is to build up a bridge or linkages, thru our community forum and Our Own Voices (articles or stories section). We also hope to have a network of support amongst us Filipinos just like the way it is back in our own faraway town. Through We Pinoys!

Beng’s Craziness

What is Beng without her crazy ideas? That wouldn’t be the real me if I completely turn into a serious and reserve person. And I think my life is completely dull without my kalukringan. Well, I remember when I was in Manila way back nineteen

kupong-kupong…I enrolled myself to a personal development school named KARILAGAN, in Pasong Tamo. Why? Simply because I wanted to learn how to move like a lady. To learn to smile like Mona Lisa and to learn to walk like as if I am floating on air (hibang talaga anoh?). And what happened? It helped to other girls but not to me. Tama ang Mama ko as she said I am a hopeless case. Kaya noon at ngayon same Beng pa rin ako. At the age of 43 very daring pa rin. Last week, I dared to have a tattoo just right above my ankle.