Ang Kahapon Ngayon At Bukas Ni Beng

My friend Bok tagged me yesterday morning. Without knowing what would be the topic…I simply answered yes. I was shocked as I went to her site to see the details, wow…it’s all about PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. This means I will revealing the entire story of my life. Afraid? Nee, but I was hesitant to do it at first. I am well aware that this topic is too personal but what the heck. Lahat naman tayo ay may kuwento sa buhay…so why not share it?

20 years ago – 1985

Dalawang taon na ang nakalipas magmula ng dumating ako dito sa Alemanya. Dalawang taon na ring nagtiis sa lungkot dahil napalayo sa mahal na pamilya. Nangangapa pa rin sa paligid na parang isang bulag dahil nanibago sa kultura, salita, pagkain, panahon, ugali ng mga tao at iba pang bagay. Pero ganun lang talaga kapag nangingibang bansa. At isa pa, kapasiyahan kong mag-asawa ng banyaga kaya kinailangan kong harapin at gampanan ang bagong bahagi ng aking buhay.

15 years ago 1990

Maraming mga pangyayari ang naganap sa taon na ito. Bukod sa nakapag adjust na, tapos na rin ako sa pag-aaral ng salitang Aleman (learning the language is a must since majority of the people don’t speak english). May german driving license na rin kaya nagkaroon ako ng lakas loob na pumasok ng trabaho. Natanggap ako bilang tagapagtuos o tagaayos ng kuwenta sa isang malaking department store na nagngalang “Weissenberger”. At natupad na rin ang pangarap ng dati kong asawa na makabili ng sariling barko for inland shipping (Binnenschiff).Habang ako ay abala sa trabaho at pamilya, hindi ko na gaanong naramdaman ang lungkot o homesick. Wala pang internet noon kaya nagsulatan lang kami ng aking mga magulang at kapatid. Tawagan sa telepono paminsan-minsan kong may importanteng bagay na dapat kaagad pag-usapan.

Ika 23 ng Oktobre, madaling araw ng ako ay magising dahil sa ring ng telepono. Ang kapatid kong babae na nasa Pilipinas ang tumawag para ipa-alam sa akin na nagkaroon ng massive heart attack ang aming ama. At siya’y malubhang isinugod sa hospital. Para akong tinamaan ng kidlat ng marinig ang balitang yon. Kulang na lang na hilain ko ang araw para maging umaga na. Kahit walang gana, walang tulog at maga ang mga mata, pinilit ko pa ring pumasok sa trabaho upang mag file ng bakasyon. Sa awa ng Diyos pinayagan ako ng boss at pina-uwi ako bago mag lunch break. I have to mention na ayaw ng dati kong asawa noon na umuwi. He said: Denkst du dein Vater wird es ueberleben wenn du dort bist? So ein bloedsinn! (Do you think your father will survive when you are there? What a nonesense!). Shit siya!To make the story short, I arrived home and my father was still confined in the ICU. He gained his consciousness again but very weak to speak. My father…my mentor that I adore, looked so pale and fragile. His eyes were closed as I sat beside him, I took his hand and it wake him up, he saw me and he cried. God is good, God is great that’s all I can say. The rest of the story is self explanatory.

10 years later 1995

My little wonder Kathleen turned 2 and Ivan 13. This time I had to choose between my children and my job. I wanted to get an Au pair girl but my ex-husband declined, so I resigned. The decision was not bad at all because it turned out useful as my marriage went to a crash course.

5 years later Year 2000, The Millennium
This is the most heart breaking year of my life so far. Life was hell the previous years but I survived it. I fight and I won and I was penniless. I was standing in ground zero so to speak. I was broke and had two children to feed. But I never lost hope

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall…

because I know that somewhere along the way, there’s a chance waiting for me. And so it happens! I found a fulltime job and I managed to enrol Kathleen in a Kindergarten near the apartment we lived. Everything went perfectly well until…

New Year’s Eve. The three of us were separated on this day. Kathleen was picked up by her father, Ivan left home early in the evening to celebrate the Millennium event with his classmates and friends. Not knowing what will happen next, I decided to accept my friend’s invitation to celebrate with her family. My cellphone rung shortly after midnight. A guy said on the other line: Please come to the hospital immediately, your son had an accident…his condition is “critical”. I thought it was just a bad joke…but of course it was not. I quoted critical because I found out later that he was clinically dead as he arrived in the hospital. The doctors were fighting for his life along the corridor on the way to intensive care unit. A young boy with a strong heart came back to life…He was very lucky that the hospital was just few meters away from where the accident happened. What really happened? An unknown person fired a gas pistol in the middle of the crowd. It landed and blasted right in front of my son. I think I don’t have to describe how I felt and how it felt. It simply can not be explained by words…

Thursday, June 21, 2000. I met Gerd, my now hubby on this day for the first time in person. Oh no please don’t get me wrong, he’s not a total stranger at all. We met on the net for months already, but due to our distance, job and tight schedules, our communication was limited to emails and phone calls only. Kaya ito ang pinakauna-unahang date naming dalawa. We dined out and after that…took a long walk along the Main River. Then we sat on a park bench and talked about our past life and experiences. Para kaming tunay na magnobyo na may pa holding hands pa. Para pa lang dahil hindi ko pa naman siya sinagot ah. It was already late as we parted. The next day was a holiday so he decided to stay in the area. Kaya nag-usap kaming magkita ulit kinabukasan.

An unexpected thing happened the next day. Siya ay hindi na nag-aksaya ng panahon. He proposed marriage on bended knees with a beautiful bouquet on his right hand. God! I was stunned and speechless. Our engagement took place on July 1st. We had a romantic, solemn engagement ceremony in Engelsberg Chapel on top of the hill.

August 19, we finally moved to Freiburg. Hindi ako tinigilan ni Gerd hanggang hindi ako pumayag na magsama na kaming dalawa. Dito nagsimula ang panibagong kabanata ng aking buhay.Then came September 10 “it was Kathleen”s first day at school with a Schultuete filled with sweets and an empty school backpack “Scout”. It was a weird situation for me because my ex-hubby was there and my step-daughter as well. But it was Kathleen’s big day, so I had to endure it for her sake.

KC

3 years ago – 2002

Gerd and I are almost 2 years married na this time and I had a very promising job in Roemerberg Klinik, Badenweiler. Promising dahil government establishment ito and I was paid under BAT Tarif (Beamtentarif – Government Official Tariff) plus bonuses. Everything was perfect but Gerd still has one unfulfilled wish. A baby. I would love to have one too but how? We both know that I have problem with my fallopian tubes due to Endometriosis, as in fact I had one ectopic pregnancy behind me several years ago. But my darling Gerd has already one answer in mind. IVF! We took the risk and saw the positive result after three crucial months. The ultrasound monitor showed a dark spot…that is now known as Gillian-Yves. All our wishes and dreams came true…there is nothing more we can ask for.

Last year – 2004

Ivan experienced his first heartache. Gillian turned 1 and Kathleen got excellent grades thus she made it to Gymnasium. During the school year…she won several light athletic disciplines and won the first prize in drawing contest. Papa Gerd was busy with his patients and Mama Beng was getting obsessed in web designing. And we got a new family member…Kitty.

Yesterday
I had a damn hard time trying to figure out how to import all the blogger files of my new hostee. I smoked more than 1 pack of Marlboro Ultra (it happened when I’m under stress) and consumed several mugs of Cappuccino. I prepared Beef Gulasch with steamed rice and Iceberg salad for dinner and talking with my neighbour Thess on the phone while cooking.

Last night

And finally at 2:30 A.M I went to bed with a contented smile. Know why? I successfully moved all my hostee’s blogger files including the comments.

Today

I’m suppose to go to Kathleen’s school to pick up the books we ordered for her. But decided to postpone it tomorrow dahil inabot ako ng high tide ng katamaran. I cleaned the house instead and washed all our dirty clothes.

Tomorrow

Have to call the land developer in Davao early in the morning. Then go pick up Kathleen’s books and have to go back home right away to finish some pending work.

10 years from now
I’ll be 53 years old. Gerd 58, Ivan 32, Kathleen 22, Gillian 14 and Kitty is maybe dead. If God permit at kong kami ay nakapag impok na ng tamang halaga, malamang na kami ay sa Pilipinas na manirahan. Doon sa aming magiging bagong bahay sa Villa de Mercedes – situated within Toril at 535 feet above sea level. It is a breathtaking residential development nestled atop the hills of Catigan. Tapos bibili kaming dalawa ni Lolo Gerd ng rocking chair na ilalagay namin sa terrace, facing the gulf of davao. At kong kami ay magkagalit hihilain ko ang aking rocking upuan…at doon ako haharap sa Mt. Apo. Ay baligtad…dapat siya ang haharap sa bundok at ako sa dagat dahil ako ang beach lover sa aming dalawa.Haay salamat at natapos din ako. O ano, di pa ba kayo pagod?

P.S
Grammatical error is under your care bcoz I am not a perfect writer nor perfect in English. But at least I tried…di vah 🙄

Beng

Beng Hafner is my name. Well, most of you know that already. I am a mother of 3 and a granny of 3 cute kids. I am proud to be who I am and I am proud of the way I am. I am alive because I have a lot to live for. I have many dreams that I wish to reach for and I have many journeys to make. My life is like a soap opera, and you are the audience.

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21 Responses

  1. ting says:

    OMG…Mutti in a nutshell. I don’t think I can make something like this..ayoko, ayoko, ayoko.

    Pareho pala tayo ng balak. 10 years from now, nasa Pilipinas na ulit, sitting on a rocking chair. No taxes to worry about, no work to worry about. Hay, baka magkita tayo doon mutti..ihanda mo ang iyong coffee mug at tayo ay magkakape ng magkakape.

  2. ting says:

    PS Mutti..very eandearing naman ang kuwento mo..

  3. thess says:

    Parang movie! may part na nakakasikip ng dibdib (uy, tama size ng b*a ko ha!) , may nakaka aliw, nakaka proud moments (Kathleen’s and ‘dark-spot’ Gillian..akala ko dati sa tigyawat galing si Gillian, gaya ni Charlie :scared: ) meron naman nakakabilib ( syempre ang iyong tibay ng loob, whussshuuu!) at nakakakilig (si lolo Gerd, may paluhod-luhod pa’ng nalalaman ..parang si hans, kung alam ko lang na luluhod eh di nagsabog sana ako ng isang sakong munggo! wehehehe :beee: )

    all in all..salamat for sharing..sana magawa ko na ang tag ni bok (langya ka, naka draft na..pero ang taytol pareho tayo..english nga lang akin , bah! kahit balustot..oweno ngayon!)

    love,
    tataritat ng olandya

  4. atinna says:

    :motorbike:mamabengganda, napakasalimuot naman pala ng imong life story. marami pa akong kakainin na sushi para maabot ang ganyang life experiences. parang yung nababasa ko sa liwayway nung grade 1 ako:roll:. pero tama ka, there is always HOPE:candle:. at di dapat magpapatalo sa mga pagsubok sa haybu. ok yung idea ng retiring sa davao 535 ft. above sea level facing mt. apo. akala ko sasabihin mo sa bandang huli eh pag nagkagalit kayo ni grampy gerd itutulak mo sya dun sa burol hehehe…buti hindi naman pala at kay grand apo ka lang pala haharap at :running:magpapalipas ng galit.:beee:

  5. foxyboksie says:

    :crazy: hiningal ako dun ah! no, juks lang dear, hindi nakakapagod pag interesting ang binabasa. Pwede ng isapelikula, “Ang Makulay na Daigdig Ni Benggay”, o say? :thinking:
    So, ang ibig mong sabihin, may 23 years old ka ng panganay? Wow!

    Tita, Ito ay isang friendly advice lamang, try to stop smoking! :baby: Ang lakas mong humitit! Kaya mo yan! Kung nakaya ko, kakayanin mo rin! Kailangang ma-i-profit mo na husto ang inyong house sa Villa de Mercedes, di ba? :cheerful:

    :heartbeat:

  6. Lukaret says:

    Mutti dear,

    Maraming salamat sa dalaw :cheerful: and am glad you find it endearing at hindi daring :scared: Alam mo Mutti, ayoko nga rin sana kaya lang ayokong sabihin ni Bokyang na duwag ako 🙄 kaya sige hirit na ako.

    Wow, ang dami pala nating may balak na uuwi for good doon. Hayaan mo, dadalhin ko ang aming malaking coffee machine para pindot na lang tayo ng pindot kapag kailangan natin ng maraming kape. Promise ha…dalaw ka sa amin :yes:

  7. Lukaret says:

    Ms. Cubeta,

    Lukaret ka talagang vakla ka. Sus day, hindi lang parang movie…it is a movie. Life is like a movie di va, yon nga lang…live. Hoy isumbong kita kay Gerd…sabihin ko sa kanya na sinabi mong tigyawat ang kanya :beee: Ahehehe, si Hans pala ay lumuhod din sa yo? Ang corny nila anoh?

    Eh ano ngayon kong identical ang title natin… magkaiba din ang dating niyan dahil tagalig ang sa akwin. Post mo na yannn, dali!!!

  8. Lukaret says:

    Atineneng darling,

    Ano kamo ang sabi mo…alimuot? Ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng salimuot? Wala pa yan sa Tagalog vocabulary ko ah. Makapagbasa nga ng Balarila 💡 Alam mo Neng, galit ako sa pagsubok ng buhay noon. Pero naging proud din ako sa sarili ko nang malampasan ito. Lakas lang ng loob ang kailangan at determinasyon na may kasamang will power.

    Si Lolo Gerd ay hindi ko ihuhulog sa bangin siya ay pagugulungin ko lang pababa para soft ang bagsak, hindi naman ako ganun kalufit noh :beee: Ay djuks lang yan :hug: mahal ko ata si Lolo kaya dapat ko lang alagaan orelse wala ng magdadala ng kape :coffee: sa akin every morning kapag weekend. Yes ganyan siya ka loving.

    Psst, pahingi naman ng Sushi oh.

  9. Lukaret says:

    Bokyang cherie,

    Salamat :heartbeat: Kaya ko rin nasabing hesitant dahil masyadong mahaba ang kuwento ng aking buhay. Ako nga mismo ay hiningal sa pagsulat. Si Lolo Gerd ay katabi ko dito sa pc nang gawin ko ito. Siyempre binasa ito and I have to translate the tagalog part to him. Then sabi niya: “Akala ko ba ayaw mong magsulat ng personal na bagay diyan sa blog mo, why now?” Pinakita ko ang sa yo para maintindihan niya kong bakit 🙂 Maligaya si Lolo mo na nailathala ko ang lab story naming dalawa :hug:

    Yong title mo sa pelikula ay type ko. Ikaw ba ang magiging producer at director? Siyanga pala, balak ko na talagang tumigil sa paninigarilyo dahil super mahal na ngayon. Ayayay, smoker ka rin pala noon? Sayang at tumigil ka na…dalawa sana tayong kapre. Salamat sa payo…dapat na talaga akong tumigil. Ubusin ko muna itong stock ha dahil sayang eh :blush:

  10. missP says:

    wow! :yes: ang ganda naman basahin ng life story(autobiography) mo madame Beng.tama ba yung term at spelling? ( :thinking: bka kc ma criticize, hehehe.)sa toto lang. di ko tuloy natapos ang palabas na feng shui.definitely, mas interesting ito kesa sa horrorific :scared: na buhay ni kris aquino.. buwahahahaha :crazy:
    kumusta na?

  11. Lukaret says:

    Hello missP,

    Salamat naman ineng at ikaw ay napagawi dini sa aking munting kubo. Ay ala eh ikinagalak kong malaman na ikaw ay nagandahan sa kuwento ng aking buhay :blush: Aray ko po ako pa ang tinanong nitong batang ito kong tama ang sfeling niya, tiyak tama iyan. hoy kapag ako mapagawi riyan…fwede akong makikape sa inyo? Hihihi, no joke…dalawin kita para kita tayo sa mata, okski?

  12. KnOizKi says:

    I’ve done this assignment a few days ago. Ate Luks, it’s still good to know other things about you – the best education is reall all about LIFE – dami mong dinaanan and with those struggles, tingnan mo na ngayun you’re enjoying life.

  13. amy says:

    hello, I just came across your site. I’m from Calgary, Canada. Ganda ng layout mo. I like your blogs and your comments box. ano ginagamit mo for your blog? gusto ko rin ng maraming smilies. anyways, tag me sa page ko if you have time.:cheerful:

  14. missP says:

    sure madame,.. bandang november im pree as a bird na, ika nga nila…hahaha..
    :hyper::hyper::hyper: o kaya, hali ka na..punta ka na ngayon..aabsent na ako, for you tita! hahahaha…

    kidding aside, :yes: it would be my pleasure to meet D’ ONE! ayyy… sa fiesta filipina sa weiterstadt.. on sept. 2… ano kaya?

  15. Diane says:

    Hi, napadaan lang sa site mo. I hope you don’t mind, nakigaya din ako, nag-post din ako ng similar post. 🙂 Feel free to read about it. 😀

    Gusto ko lang sabihin na na-inspire mo akong tingnan ang brighter side ng buhay, at napagtanto ko rin na hindi naman pala ganoong kasama ang buhay ko. 🙂

    Cheers, and God bless.

  16. Lukaret says:

    Knoiz,

    Yup I am enjoying and at the same time ready to face what may come ahead. How nice kong laging ganito ang buhay…pero hindi eh. Kaya dapat nakahanda lagi ang kalooban ;-). Kumbaga sa sundalo…always ready to fight. Weaponed with guts, determination and will. Di vah?

  17. Lukaret says:

    Hi Amy,

    Thanks for the visit. I am using WordPress my dear and the CB is a modified version, kaya maraming smilies 🙂

    Greetings
    Beng

  18. Lukaret says:

    MissP,

    Silingan, sarap sanang sumali sa Fiesta Filipina kaya lang darating ang anak ko. Pupunta ako diyan tagala nex month, di ko nga lang alam kong kailan dahil nasa Pinas pa ang manager ng kompanya na pupuntahan ko sa Frankfurt. Email na lang ko nimo once kabalo nako kong kanus-a, okay? Thanks kaayo nga welcome diay ko :innocent:.

  19. Lukaret says:

    Hello Diane,

    Maraming salamat sa dalaw and for living a trace 😉 Hehehe, na inspire ba kita? Keep it up…talagang ganyan lang ang buhay. Minsan nasa itaas tayo…minsan naman hindi lang nasa baba kundi sa ilalim pa kamo. Ihanda mo lang lagi ang sarili mo and above all…never lost hope.

  20. rhada says:

    neybor beng: sobra palang inspirational ang iyong kasaysayan. Very heartwarming. kaydami mong pinagdaanan ngunit ayan at ikaw ay nanatiling nakatayo. God is GREAT!!! Hindi nya pinababayaan ang mga alagad nya!

    Have a happy weekend neybor!!

  21. Lukaret says:

    hello rhada neybor,

    Sa awa ng Panginoon, nalusutan ko ang mga pagsubok. Mabuti nalang binigyan niya ako ng tibay ng loob.

    Happy weekend too :cheerful:

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