Getting Older
You Know You’re Getting Old When …
When I look in a mirror I always know that’s me.
-”25 Years Ago Today…” is your favorite part of the paper.
-A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
-All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
-Almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
-At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
-Dialing long-distance wears you out.
-Everything either dries up or leaks.
-Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt - doesn’t work.
-”Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
-”Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
-Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
-Happy hour is a nap.
-It takes longer to rest than to get tired.
-It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
-It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
-The girls at the office start confiding in you.
-The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
-The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
-”Tying one on” means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
-Work is a lot less fun … and fun a lot more work.
-You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
-You burn the midnight oil around 9:00 P.M.
-You choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
-You don’t care where your spouse goes, just so you don’t have to go along.
-You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
-You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
-You get winded playing games on the computer.
-You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.
-You have a choice of two temptations … You choose the one that will get you home earlier.
-You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don’t care anymore.
-You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
-You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
-You say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
-You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
-You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
-You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
-You stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
-You stop buying green bananas.
-You stop growing at both ends and begin to grow in the middle. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
-You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
-You wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
-You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don’t even remember being on top of it.
-You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them.
-Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
-Your back goes out more often than you do.
-Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
-Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
-Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
-Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
-Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.
-Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
-Your secrets are safe with your friends. They they can’t remember them either.
-Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, pick one … I can’t do both!”
-Your wife gives up fooling around for Lent and you don’t realize it until the 4th of July.
-You’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.
-You’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
-You’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.
SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLDER
* Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00
* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
* Kidnappers are not very interested in you – unless you are filthy rich.
* It’s harder for sexual harassment charges to stick (but don’t mind doing it)
* If you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.
* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
* Your eyes won’t get much worse.
* Things you buy now won’t wear out.
* No one expects you to run into a burning building.
* There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
* In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
This entry was posted on Monday, August 29th, 2005 at 2:47 pm and is filed under Whatsoever. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
by: Beng
posted on 
at 2:47 pm
under 
27 Comments 
My name is Beng and Kauderwelsch is my personal blog. I have three charming kids, two naughty cats, and a husband that I adore. I'm old but still ambitious, stubborn and well determined by nature. I am obsessive about things that interest me and that I care about. I am an entrepreneur at heart and my
Should I be happy or should I be sad Mutti? I’m glad though that there are postive things about growing old..like I don’t need to walk anymore. I’ll just maneuver my wheel chair..waaaa!!!
“I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you….” :shy:
Mutti dear,
I would say you should be happy :-) you’re not old as yours truly yet. Di vah?
Hello Karina,
How sweet :hug:
“* If you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.”
Buti na lang nag smoke ako when I was 19. Older na rin yun diba? I can relate to some of the “signs” maybe I’ll see these signs when I finally turn 40, they say Life starts at that age.
As we grow older, I feel that LIFE is the best education you can get.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. nyehehehe… hindi pa naman…:thinking:
:heartbeat:
-Almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
and this is…..? :-D…yun ba yun?
-The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals. oh this is sad :crying:
kaya let’s enjoy life na lang at its fullest while we can..and that means NOW, not later..
oh tara, bakasyon na tayo sa caribbean :plane:
hello Beng, thank you for passing by my site. thank you rin sa compliments sa :baby:baby ko:kitty: I love your page. I also like this blog, nakaka-relate. Anyways, ingat.
Shoutz from Canada. :plane:
Knoiz, korek ka life begins at 40 talaga. Bakit ganun? Hmmm, pag-usapan natin ulit ang topic na ito when you reach that age :yes:
Boks,
Paano yan eh kahit siguro ako bra-less later wa epek pa rin yan dahil…gapasas lang po :-D
Thess,
Sa mga kikay na katulad ko kunyari…ay isa ito sa mangyayari later: “It takes twice as long - to look half as good.”
Join ako sa yo…halika sabay tayong mag enjoy…saan ba :cloud9:
Amy hello,
Thanks a lot at ingat ka rin diyan :-)
i made a checklist of these, heehee 50 percent of the symptoms i have :hissy:
lalo na yung going upstairs :duh: sus kelangan exercise:running:
oist serious ako..pag usapan natin ng masinsinan..gusto ko tayong 2 lang..kahit man lang sa spain tayo magbabad for a week or two, sa bitch..este beach..what say you? MAYBE di ba? :hyper:
-Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.
:hissy: how true, how true! grabeee, this check list confirmed my fears, :gasp: TUMATANDA NA TALAGA (TAYO).. aba, siyempers ayoko naman solohin ang katandaan, :beee:
join din ako, makikisabay sa pag eenjoy niyo :hyper:
‘miss you! ‘wala lang.
re: tagboard ..dapat sa mga spammers, sagasaan eh! :motorbike: :drunk:
Ola, muy bonita bonggadera, kumustasakalabasa na ba?
Mutti,
Miss you too :yes:. Maraming-maraming salamat sa pagdalaw at pag-alala sa akin :shy:. I am so very busy this time, kaalis lang ng binata ko may darating na namang bisita this weekend and they will be staying for a week. I’m going to held a party on Saturday…halika lipad :plane: na.
Thess darling,
Kumusta ang Mutya Ng Dordrecht? Hoy halika dito sa Sabado may party ako :bday:
Either mag :plane: ka or mag :motorbike: or ganito mag cadila :running: kad. Miss youuu :hug:
ang alila kamo sa dordrecht :roll:..enjoy your sat. parteeh! (sino may bday? ) salamat sa invite, ako naman ay mag aalaga ng 3 matanda sa sunday kaya preparation ko saturday, :duh: )mag re reunion sina dil at 2 kapatid nito, tapos isang cousin ni hans..so puro sila lalaki (kasama pa si charlie) ako lang bebot (boriiiiiiiinng) at taga kuha ng fictyurs…send me a piece of cake?
mit na mit na kita!! :hug: (pautang? :mischievous::-D )
:hissy:, di ako invited sa saturday, :-( ! sana :rainy: jan sa inyo… ng kasiyahan! :hyper: buwahahahaha.
madame, kumusta?
:thinking: inevitable talaga ang pagiging old, ‘no? but the good news is there are SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLDER. i wrote an entry, too, about getting older titled INEVITABLE - a result of being a witness to old fellas trying to live life… sad fact but true.
Inday missP,
lumampas na yon miss fra. ‘wawang bata nakaligtaang imbitahin…o sige safukin mo na si tita lukring :duh: tutuhanan yang sinabi mo ha? i’ll mark your word dahil tatawagan talaga kita next time :yes:
miss sharon cubeta,
kumusta na ang reunion ng mga binata? di the only :rose: among the thorns ka pala sa party nila?
kaalis lang po ng aking mga bisita. fagod na fagod ako ngayon dahil 3 days kaming out…bale ako ang kanilang guide kaya paa ko ay masakit sa kalalakad :crying:
kumusta ba diyan?
bing hello,
how true, how true…it is indeed inevitable. pero talagang ganyan kaya dapat nating tanggapin ng maluwag sa dibdib. :hissy: :crying:
greetings
pakner…hindi ako nakasama dahil sa dami ng work (extras) pero ok na rin, kasi pagod na din ako…
relax ka naman at tayo ay maguusap ulit, soon :iloveu:
btw, tag ulan na at malamig (parang may bago ano? :roll: )..greetings to G and kiddies, tc!
Hello. Bumibisita lang. Napatambay, nagbasa at nakigulo.
Dadag: Tumatanda ka na kapag alam mo pa ang salitang disco, kapag all-time favorite mo ay Eagles or Beatles. Kapag alam mo at na mi-miss mo ang choknut, at lagi mong naalala kung magkano ang baon mo noong araw.
Maganda site mo, bago design.