You Know You’re Getting Old When …

-”25 Years Ago Today…” is your favorite part of the paper.
-A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
-All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
-Almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
-At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
-Dialing long-distance wears you out.
-Everything either dries up or leaks.
-Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt - doesn’t work.
-”Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
-”Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
-Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
-Happy hour is a nap.
-It takes longer to rest than to get tired.
-It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
-It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
-The girls at the office start confiding in you.
-The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
-The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
-”Tying one on” means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
-Work is a lot less fun … and fun a lot more work.
-You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
-You burn the midnight oil around 9:00 P.M.
-You choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
-You don’t care where your spouse goes, just so you don’t have to go along.
-You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
-You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
-You get winded playing games on the computer.
-You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.
-You have a choice of two temptations … You choose the one that will get you home earlier.
-You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don’t care anymore.
-You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
-You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
-You say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
-You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
-You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
-You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
-You stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
-You stop buying green bananas.
-You stop growing at both ends and begin to grow in the middle. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
-You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
-You wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
-You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don’t even remember being on top of it.
-You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them.
-Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
-Your back goes out more often than you do.
-Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
-Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
-Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
-Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
-Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.
-Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
-Your secrets are safe with your friends. They they can’t remember them either.
-Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, pick one … I can’t do both!”
-Your wife gives up fooling around for Lent and you don’t realize it until the 4th of July.
-You’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.
-You’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
-You’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.

SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLDER

* Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00
* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
* Kidnappers are not very interested in you – unless you are filthy rich.
* It’s harder for sexual harassment charges to stick (but don’t mind doing it)
* If you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.
* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
* Your eyes won’t get much worse.
* Things you buy now won’t wear out.
* No one expects you to run into a burning building.
* There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
* Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
* In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

My friend Bok tagged me yesterday morning. Without knowing what would be the topic…I simply answered yes. I was shocked as I went to her site to see the details, wow…it’s all about PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. This means I will revealing the entire story of my life. Afraid? Nee, but I was hesitant to do it at first. I am well aware that this topic is too personal but what the heck. Lahat naman tayo ay may kuwento sa buhay…so why not share it?

20 years ago - 1985
Dalawang taon na ang nakalipas magmula ng dumating ako dito sa Alemanya. Dalawang taon na ring nagtiis sa lungkot dahil napalayo sa mahal na pamilya. Nangangapa pa rin sa paligid na parang isang bulag dahil nanibago sa kultura, salita, pagkain, panahon, ugali ng mga tao at iba pang bagay. Pero ganun lang talaga kapag nangingibang bansa. At isa pa, kapasiyahan kong mag-asawa ng banyaga kaya kinailangan kong harapin at gampanan ang bagong bahagi ng aking buhay.

15 years ago 1990
Maraming mga pangyayari ang naganap sa taon na ito. Bukod sa nakapag adjust na, tapos na rin ako sa pag-aaral ng salitang Aleman (learning the language is a must since majority of the people don’t speak english). May german driving license na rin kaya nagkaroon ako ng lakas loob na pumasok ng trabaho. Natanggap ako bilang tagapagtuos o tagaayos ng kuwenta sa isang malaking department store na nagngalang “Weissenberger”. At natupad na rin ang pangarap ng dati kong asawa na makabili ng sariling barko for inland shipping (Binnenschiff).Habang ako ay abala sa trabaho at pamilya, hindi ko na gaanong naramdaman ang lungkot o homesick. Wala pang internet noon kaya nagsulatan lang kami ng aking mga magulang at kapatid. Tawagan sa telepono paminsan-minsan kong may importanteng bagay na dapat kaagad pag-usapan.

Ika 23 ng Oktobre, madaling araw ng ako ay magising dahil sa ring ng telepono. Ang kapatid kong babae na nasa Pilipinas ang tumawag para ipa-alam sa akin na nagkaroon ng massive heart attack ang aming ama. At siya’y malubhang isinugod sa hospital. Para akong tinamaan ng kidlat ng marinig ang balitang yon. Kulang na lang na hilain ko ang araw para maging umaga na. Kahit walang gana, walang tulog at maga ang mga mata, pinilit ko pa ring pumasok sa trabaho upang mag file ng bakasyon. Sa awa ng Diyos pinayagan ako ng boss at pina-uwi ako bago mag lunch break. I have to mention na ayaw ng dati kong asawa noon na umuwi. He said: Denkst du dein Vater wird es ueberleben wenn du dort bist? So ein bloedsinn! (Do you think your father will survive when you are there? What a nonesense!). Shit siya!To make the story short, I arrived home and my father was still confined in the ICU. He gained his consciousness again but very weak to speak. My father…my mentor that I adore, looked so pale and fragile. His eyes were closed as I sat beside him, I took his hand and it wake him up, he saw me and he cried. God is good, God is great that’s all I can say. The rest of the story is self explanatory.

10 years later 1995
My little wonder Kathleen turned 2 and Ivan 13. This time I had to choose between my children and my job. I wanted to get an Au pair girl but my ex-husband declined, so I resigned. The decision was not bad at all because it turned out useful as my marriage went to a crash course.

5 years later Year 2000, The Millennium This is the most heart breaking year of my life so far. Life was hell the previous years but I survived it. I fight and I won and I was penniless. I was standing in ground zero so to speak. I was broke and had two children to feed. But I never lost hope

because I know that somewhere along the way, there’s a chance waiting for me. And so it happens! I found a fulltime job and I managed to enrol Kathleen in a Kindergarten near the apartment we lived. Everything went perfectly well until…

New Year’s Eve. The three of us were separated on this day. Kathleen was picked up by her father, Ivan left home early in the evening to celebrate the Millennium event with his classmates and friends. Not knowing what will happen next, I decided to accept my friend’s invitation to celebrate with her family. My cellphone rung shortly after midnight. A guy said on the other line: Please come to the hospital immediately, your son had an accident…his condition is “critical”. I thought it was just a bad joke…but of course it was not. I quoted critical because I found out later that he was clinically dead as he arrived in the hospital. The doctors were fighting for his life along the corridor on the way to intensive care unit. A young boy with a strong heart came back to life…He was very lucky that the hospital was just few meters away from where the accident happened. What really happened? An unknown person fired a gas pistol in the middle of the crowd. It landed and blasted right in front of my son. I think I don’t have to describe how I felt and how it felt. It simply can not be explained by words…

Thursday, June 21, 2000. I met Gerd, my now hubby on this day for the first time in person. Oh no please don’t get me wrong, he’s not a total stranger at all. We met on the net for months already, but due to our distance, job and tight schedules, our communication was limited to emails and phone calls only. Kaya ito ang pinakauna-unahang date naming dalawa. We dined out and after that…took a long walk along the Main River. Then we sat on a park bench and talked about our past life and experiences. Para kaming tunay na magnobyo na may pa holding hands pa. Para pa lang dahil hindi ko pa naman siya sinagot ah. It was already late as we parted. The next day was a holiday so he decided to stay in the area. Kaya nag-usap kaming magkita ulit kinabukasan.

An unexpected thing happened the next day. Siya ay hindi na nag-aksaya ng panahon. He proposed marriage on bended knees with a beautiful bouquet on his right hand. God! I was stunned and speechless. Our engagement took place on July 1st. We had a romantic, solemn engagement ceremony in Engelsberg Chapel on top of the hill.

August 19, we finally moved to Freiburg. Hindi ako tinigilan ni Gerd hanggang hindi ako pumayag na magsama na kaming dalawa. Dito nagsimula ang panibagong kabanata ng aking buhay.Then came September 10 “it was Kathleen”s first day at school with a Schultuete filled with sweets and an empty school backpack “Scout”. It was a weird situation for me because my ex-hubby was there and my step-daughter as well. But it was Kathleen’s big day, so I had to endure it for her sake.

3 years ago - 2002
Gerd and I are almost 2 years married na this time and I had a very promising job in Roemerberg Klinik, Badenweiler. Promising dahil government establishment ito and I was paid under BAT Tarif (Beamtentarif - Government Official Tariff) plus bonuses. Everything was perfect but Gerd still has one unfulfilled wish. A baby. I would love to have one too but how? We both know that I have problem with my fallopian tubes due to Endometriosis, as in fact I had one ectopic pregnancy behind me several years ago. But my darling Gerd has already one answer in mind. IVF! We took the risk and saw the positive result after three crucial months. The ultrasound monitor showed a dark spot…that is now known as Gillian-Yves. All our wishes and dreams came true…there is nothing more we can ask for.

Last year - 2004
Ivan experienced his first heartache. Gillian turned 1 and Kathleen got excellent grades thus she made it to Gymnasium. During the school year…she won several light athletic disciplines and won the first prize in drawing contest. Papa Gerd was busy with his patients and Mama Beng was getting obsessed in web designing. And we got a new family member…Kitty.

YesterdayI had a damn hard time trying to figure out how to import all the blogger files of my new hostee. I smoked more than 1 pack of Marlboro Ultra (it happened when I’m under stress) and consumed several mugs of Cappuccino. I prepared Beef Gulasch with steamed rice and Iceberg salad for dinner and talking with my neighbour Thess on the phone while cooking.

Last night
And finally at 2:30 A.M I went to bed with a contented smile. Know why? I successfully moved all my hostee’s blogger files including the comments.

Today
I’m suppose to go to Kathleen’s school to pick up the books we ordered for her. But decided to postpone it tomorrow dahil inabot ako ng high tide ng katamaran. I cleaned the house instead and washed all our dirty clothes.

Tomorrow
Have to call the land developer in Davao early in the morning. Then go pick up Kathleen’s books and have to go back home right away to finish some pending work.

10 years from now I’ll be 53 years old. Gerd 58, Ivan 32, Kathleen 22, Gillian 14 and Kitty is maybe dead. If God permit at kong kami ay nakapag impok na ng tamang halaga, malamang na kami ay sa Pilipinas na manirahan. Doon sa aming magiging bagong bahay sa Villa de Mercedes - situated within Toril at 535 feet above sea level. It is a breathtaking residential development nestled atop the hills of Catigan. Tapos bibili kaming dalawa ni Lolo Gerd ng rocking chair na ilalagay namin sa terrace, facing the gulf of davao. At kong kami ay magkagalit hihilain ko ang aking rocking upuan…at doon ako haharap sa Mt. Apo. Ay baligtad…dapat siya ang haharap sa bundok at ako sa dagat dahil ako ang beach lover sa aming dalawa.Haay salamat at natapos din ako. O ano, di pa ba kayo pagod?

P.S
Grammatical error is under your care bcoz I am not a perfect writer nor perfect in English. But at least I tried…di vah :roll:

***Hello pips, I would like to introduce to you my prince charming Gerd. Pareho pa kaming sipunin ng kinuha ang picture na ito. Nauna lang siya nang limang taon sa akin dito sa mundong ito. Kaming dalawa ay pinagtagpo ng tadhana after many many years. Siya pala ay nalungkot ng makitang posted ang litrato ko dito na hindi siya kasama kaya ko ito idinagdag.

I promised Stel to post my pictures when I was very very young. Since kahanginan at kalukringan ang natipuhan kong isulat lately, naisipan ko ngayon na idagdag ito. So here we go. Darf ich vorstellen (let me introduce to you)…little Beng.

That girl looks sweet and innocent but be careful! Ubod maldita yan noon. Well, let me tell you a brief story about my childhood.

When a I was a child, I remember na lagi akong kinukurot ng mga tao noon sa pisngi. Yon bagang typical gigil na kurot…I never understood why people were doing that to me. Kaya sa inis ko gumaganti ako sa paraan ng tadyak or inaapakan ko ang kanilang paa. At kaya naman hindi ko makakalimutan ang pangyayaring ito dahil lagi akong napapalo ng mama ko.

Later at the age of 7 or maybe older…ginagawa akong manyika ng Mama ko. She used to sew dresses for me, merong may peticoat or minsan bloomer. Everytime I went to school…nilalagyan niya ng ribbon ang buhok ko at pinapasuot din ako ang tights na fishnet style.

Hindi niya alam she was torturing me the whole time dahil ayaw na ayaw kong magmukhang ingot. My classmates and schoolmates were laughing at me. Pero as a kid, I was so afraid and never had the courage to tell my mom about it.

Anyways, ng madagdagan kaming magkapatid medyo nabawasan na ang attention na naka focus sa akin. Kaya nagkaroon ako ng kaunting freedom. Like ako na mismo ang pumipili ng mga sinusuot ko at iba pang bagay. My favorite outfit were shorts and trousers. Since ang mga kabarkada ko ay mga lalaki…naging noted akong tumboy. While my kababatang babae ay naglalaro ng bahay-bahayan, ako naman ay kakaiba. I climbed trees, nakikipagsuntukan, tinitarador ko ang mga prutas ng aming kapitbahay kapag hindi sila namimigay, I have stolen the eggs of my grand-mother’s chicken and etc. One time, we had a neighbour na nagpatayo ng bahay. The owner asked us to gather stones for him at bayaran daw niya kami. Siguro kulang yong napulot naming mga bato kaya umorder siya ng isang truck. Kaming mga baliw ay nagkaroon ng ideya ng makita namin ito :idea:. Kong ilang gabi namin unti-unting hinakot ang mga bato niya. At ibininta din pabalik sa kanya…paulit-ulit naming ginawa yon. Hanggang magduda siya at nabisto kami :scared: ng tuluyan. Laking galit ng neybor mama at binulyawan niya kami ng ganito: Hoy! Kayong mga bata kayo ha niloloko niyo ako! Bakit laging pareho ang hitsura ng mga batong binibinta niyo sa akin? Ninakaw niyo ito dito ano? Patay at lagot kaming lahat ng isumbong kami ng tao sa aming mga magulang. Sangkatutak na palo at sermon ang inabot ko at buong maghapon akong pinaluhod ng Mama ko sa harap ng Altar na may bigas sa tuhod. Mag mula noon naging super higpit na ang mga magulang ko sa akin. Ipinagbawal na sa akin ang barkada at tinambakan nila ako ng trabaho para daw ako matuto. Ang bata ay bata pa rin na gustong-gusto maglaro. Pero dahil sa laki ng takot kong maparusahan ulit…naging ang mga kambing, manok at aso na lang namin ang aking naging kalaro. Kaya tuloy ako napagkamalang lukaret ng aming kapitbahay na nakakita sa akin na nakipagsungayan sa kambing.

Ay naku! Masyadong mahaba ang estorya pero ayaw ko kayong pagurin kaya hanggang dito na lang muna tayo.

Yan po ang kapirasong kuwento ng buhay ng batang si Beng :iloveu:

Capitalism - An economic system in which the means of production and distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market.

Okay ngarud magmula ngayon ako ay isa nang kapitalista. Siyempre ang origin nang aydiya na ito ay si Dodong Knoizki. Lalo akong naging lukreng ng sabihin niyang status symbol daw ang dating ng piktyur kong nakalagay sa nauna kong post. :idea: Pumasok tuloy bigla sa isipan ko na gawing brand name ang LUKARET. Ala Gucci baga o Prada at iba pang signature names diyan (ang lakas ng apog ko noh?). O walang ismiran at may permit akong mag ilusyon dahil tulad ng sinabi ni Atineneng ako ay certified lukreng :crazy:.

Okay, balik tayo sa capitalism topic. Sinimulan ko nang mag produce ng produkto para sa market ng mga lukreng people. None lukreng can also buy op kurs (more buyers more molahs). Pero babala…my products may be hazardous to your health kaya…buy it at your own risk okay? Walang hablahan dahil hindi pa ako insured. Ano man ang magiging epekto nito sa inyo…inyo lang :mischievous:. Don’t make me responsible kong kayo ay maduduling sa kalasingan o di kaya kong tubuan man kayo ng sangkatutak na acne pimples o madagdagan ang kulubot sa inyong mala porselatang balat.

Enough blah blah, now let me show you my three (3) major products:

Aqua Di Patranta - Vodka Lukaret
Vodka - is derived from slawic word “woda” (water).
Pampaalis nang kaba sa mga torpe. Pampasaya sa mga taong bigo. At pampaloka sa mga hindi pa naloloka.

Lukaret T-Shirt Body Fit Shirt - Unisex and fits all sizes :roll:

Lukaret (all purpose) Facial Cream - Pampakapal nang mukha at panlaban sa lamok at langaw. Please see before and after picture.

Before and after!!!

Medyo biglaan at madalian ang lipat na ito dahil busy ang linya nang may-ari. Marami akong sakop ngayon kasi bakasyon dito, kaya kapag may panahon ko lang unti-unting ginawa ang paglipat. I’m just updating this entry dahil nailipat ko na ang buong blog, the reason why I quoted the original message below. I wanted to write more but I simply can’t concentrate dahil sa ingay nang mga bata kaya hanggang dito na lang muna si ako. Maraming salamat sa inyong lahat at hanggang sa susunod na kabata.

Miss you all!!! :iloveu:

Dear Friends,

Please be informed that this post will be my last entry :heartbeat: . Aromatic Blend is saying goodbye!!! Well, I’m not saying goodbye for good, I registered a new domain and new web space for this blog alone. My Pinay-Expats.Com domain still exist and still continuing “Barkada-Network” operation. Again, only my blog is moving…all the rest remain.

Lukaret.Com is the new location. You might find it strange why I have chosen that name. But you see…I’m more lukaret (crazy) than normal and my entries are mostly written in Tagalog. So I think the name just suits to my personality and to my senseless blog.

Please update your bookmarks, the new link is: LUKARET.COM

Thank you very much.