Anywhere I go I hear Christmas songs. I see sidewalk vendors selling wreath and Christmas decors. I smell Glühwein (spiced hot wein) . Shopping malls are crowded than usual and people are busy buying presents for their loveones. Christmas time is here again.

Just like everyoneelse, the preparation for the coming advent has kept me busy.

I made a wreath, baked three kinds of cookies and decorated our home a bit. A bit lang muna dahil all the rest will be made few days before Christmas pa. Unlike at home in the Philippines, beginning of December pa lang nakatayo na ang Christmas tree.

Yulitide season always make me feel homesick. Well, maybe because
21 years na akong hindi na naka attend ng Christmas celebration doon or more likely it’s the spirit of Christmas at home what I’m missing. Different country…different tradition. Yep, I’m aware of that fact and I should have been adjusted to that kong sa tagal ko na dito ang pag-uusapan. Pero sa tutuo lang, yan ang nag-iisang bagay na hindi ko makasanayan. If I’m materialistic siguro masaya ako because they are so generous here when it comes to gift. But I am not. Para akong batang hinahanap-hanap ang saya ng buong pamilya na magkakasama sa pagsalo-salo during Christmas eve. I miss the paputok and the Christmas carols at iba pa.

Ano ba ang pasko dito? Well, we attend mass at 6 o’clock p.m, pagkatapos ay uwian na and we dine together. After dining…bigayan na ng regalo, konting kuwentuhan…tapos tulugan na. Kahit gustuhin ko man na maging masaya I still can’t be in a high spirit if all the rest are not in festive mood like me. I can’t even influence them even if I wanted to. Upps! Sino nga ba ang “them”? Teka, teka…hibang na talaga ako. Sa sobrang imagination I almost forgot there’s only me, my husband and the 2 kids lang pala.

Okay back to reality! I know I’m getting melodramatic, so I think I’d better stop bago ako mapaiyak. I don’t want to cry right now dahil hindi waterproof mascara ang gamit ko.

Well, well, here I am again! This entry has been long due I know, but I was so busy during the last few days kaya ako nawala for a shortwhile sa madla ng blog.

Last Saturday was the Benefits Gala of Bicol Vasitarian Association in Cologne. My husband and I was there along with my cousin and my friend Joan and her hubby, Ging² and Fatima. Their entrance fee was a bit expensive compared to the previous galas we attended, but it was worth the price dahil talaga namang napakasarap ng kanilang buffet. Not only their buffet was great but the ambiente was perfect I must say. The program was not that stunning but we enjoyed the whole night dancing…til our feet surrendered.

Before midnight, Mr. Pador announced the draw of the entrance tickets. Nagbiruan pa nga kaming magkaibigan na kapag may mananalo sa amin…kailangan hati-hati. Naku, napaka thrilling nga naman dahil nang binunot ang first prize…Mr. Pador said “Wow, what a coincident! Sa akin niya binili ang ticket…first timer dito, tapos siya ang nanalo!” Of course I never thought of anything dahil sa dinami-dami ba naman ng mga tao doon. I am sure hindi lang ako ang bumili ng ticket sa kanya at siguradong hindi rin kami lang ang baguhan doon. Aba, ang laking gulat ko na lang ng tawagin ang pangalan ko. Beng Hafner won the first prize!!! A roundtrip ticket to Philippines! My goodness muntik na akong himatayin. Tinawag ako sa stage at inabot sa akin ang certificate (ngatog ako at ang ngiti ay abot hanggang dalawang tenga). Yupeeeeeeee! At last nanalo din ako.

Haaay naku! I was speechless talaga. HIndi ko kasi akalaing suwertehin ako noong gabing yon.

My mom text me early this morning, requesting me to call home dahil paalis na si brod Junjun papuntang Palau. He is one of those lucky engineers na natanggap na magtrabaho doon. Anywayz, ang sarap pa sanang matulog pero bumangon na lang ako para ko pa siya maabutan. Ayon nagka-usap kami sandali, at nasabi niya nga sa akin na siya ay malungkot dahil maiwanan niya ang kanyang asawa and one week old baby. Well, I do understand how he feel. Sinabi ko sa kanya na talagang ganyan ang buhay. We can’t have everything the way we want it. If we want success, we also have to sacrifice.

I asked him where Palau is, dahil hindi ko alam kong saang sulok ito inilagay ni Lord. Gusto ko lang malaman kong ang aking hahanapin sa mapa ay kasing laki ng isang tuldok o kasing lapad ng aking ilong. Ayon sabi niya, Palau is one of the trust territories of the Pacific islands.

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap ni brod, sumingit bigla si mother at ipinapaalala sa akin yong kanyang request. Upps, sorry mother, i 4got na kong ano yon…dami mo kasing ni request eh…hindi ko nailista. Oh yes cellphone pala. O sige ipapadala ko sa yo yong pinaka latest model ng Nokia. It’s the smallest cellphone on earth…na ang battery ay battery ng auto. Ay tawanan silang lahat doon. Buti na lang wala ako sa harap niya, kundi binatukan na ako nun.

After our phone conversation, punta kaagad ako sa computer para matingnan kong saan ang Palau na yan. Aba how impressing!!! Ang ganda-ganda lugar…they described it as “spectacular 400 mile long strand of pearls laid across blue sea” The spaniards laid claim to them in 1898 and sold them to Germany a year later. Napunta sa mga Americans 1946 and gained their independence in 1994.

Enough about their history…napahaba tuloy ang entry ko na to dahil dyan. According sa nabasa ko, Palau is rated as one of the Seven Under Water Wonders of the world. Sa picture pa lang impress na talaga ako…parang gusto na ring pumunta doon. Pero hindi para magtrabaho ha, kundi para magiging isang serena. Or kahit ala Loreley na nakaupo sa bato habang kinakantahan ang mga dumadaang barko okay din sa akin.

Hayy, hindi pa pala ako nakakain kaya medyo maluwang ang aking turnelyo ngayon. O sige na blog, alis na muna ako para maipasok ko na sa oven yong ginawa kong “Pinaupong Pusa”:!

My daughter will be celebrating her 11th birthday this coming Nov 26. Ang anak ko ay magdadalaga na. Parang kailan lang yon na akay-akay ko pa siya papuntang Kindergarten. A tough little girl who always comforted me when I was sad. Who nursed me when I was so sick. She was only 4 years old noong ako ay nagkasakit. Pero talo niya pa ang kuya niya the way she cared for me. Ginawan niya ako ng tee, then she kept on asking me if I want something or if there’s anythingelse she can do for me. She even stayed for awhile in our bedroom, and sometime later when I was fast asleep. Sinabi niya sa akin na “Mama, I’m going to the livingroom watch t.v…just call me if you need me.” The girl was surely worrying dahil madalas siyang pumapasok sa kuwarto para ako tingnan. I was half sleeping and half awake kaya ko alam, lalo na kapag hinihipo niya ang aking pisngi. I was so touched and couldn’t help myself from crying. Siguro kasama na rin doon ang self-pity dahil pakiramdam ko, parang lulubog na ang mundo and there was no rescue in sight.

Kasama ko ang mga bata sa lahat ng hirap na dinaanan ko noon. My mind and attention was devided in many parts at that time, but they were my top priority. Gusto kong iparamdam at ipakita sa kanila kong gaano ko sila ka mahal, na kaya ko silang buhayin at mabigyan ng magandang upbringing at kinabukasan kahit wala ang ama nila. Alam na alam kong mahirap na sitwasyon yon para sa mga bata, lalo na kay KC dahil napakabata niya pa para ito maintindihan. Laging laman ng isip ko noon kong ano ang maging epekto nito sa kanilang development.

Siguro dulot sa mga pangyayari sa aming buhay, naging mas matatag at magkalapit kaming mag-ina. It could have turn the other way, luckily hindi nagkatutuo ang aking ikinakatakot. My eldest is now living on his own and KC turns out to be an intelligent and talented girl. Matulungin na bata at maalalahanin. She is a great help to me when it comes to taking care of her little brother while I am busy with somethingelse. I am very proud of her and I am thankful to God for giving me a daughter like her.

Siguro hindi lang sa akin nangyayari ang manakawan nang sulat. A snail mail I mean. I sent my father a small package last month containing medicines , vitamins, several pictures of my kids and a couple of lipstick for my mother. I sent it via airmail para madali.

I called my parents after 2 weeks para itanong kong natanggap na nila ito but then they said not yet. My father told me it might need another week bago ito makakarating sa kanila dahil mabagal ang post office sa Pilipinas. I have waited for another 2 weeks bago ako tumawag ulit, the comment was the same…hindi pa dumating. My parents decided to go to the post office in order to ask about the said package. Well, sa madaling salita ito ay nawala! Nawala dahil ninakaw.
It’s so disgusting na talaga dahil ilang beses na akong ninakawan ng sulat at package.

Yesterday, I sent a pack of pictures again to my parents and I wrote a short message on the envelop that says:

“Dear Thief, I would like to tell you upfront that there is no money inside this envelop. Just incase you are still curious and is eager to know if I’m telling the truth, ok feel free to have a peep inside. But please be kind to close this letter again and forward it to the recipient.”

Respectfully yours,
Me

Hmm, babasahin kaya yon nang kumag na magnanakaw? I wish to know how he or she would react. I know I sound stupid, but what the heck! Just want to express my anger! Grrr.

Dear Beng

Five months na ako dito sa Germany and I think it’s not unsual if I miss or craved for Filipino food. Hindi pa ako adjusted sa pagkain nila…kaya minsan niluluto ko ang gusto ko like Pinakbet, Bicol Express and sometimes Tuyo. Yon nga lang, I’m always in trouble with my husband after that dahil sa amoy. Do you have any idea how to cook smelly bagoong and tuyo without getting in trouble with husband and neighbors?

Elizabeth

Hello there Elizabeth,

Well, I think I can claim myself lucky dahil very understanding ang mister ko tungkol sa bagay na yan. No kidding, paboritong niya pang kainin ang baboy na binaguongan.

Ok let us talk about your problem. Alam mo, it is not easy to cook bagoong here in Germany without offending your husband and neighbors dahil hindi sila sanay sa amoy nito. I advise you to prepare “bagoong” when your husband is not home. Open all windows to air the rooms, (this tip is not applicable on summertime dahil lalabas nga ang amoy…susugurin ka naman ng sangkatutak na langaw). Try to spray citrus air freshener after you cook. Coffee (ground) is also an alternative, roast some tablespoon in a pan for about 10 to 15 minutes. It helps to elimate odor a bit. The smell however, lingers around wallpaper, curtains and clothes. If the smell stays, change wallpaper, wash curtains and take a shower :wink:

Another good time to cook it is at midnite when your husband and neighbors are asleep. There’s a very good chance however that neighbors could wake up from the oder. (more…)

When I arrived in Germany way back nineteen kupong-kupong hangang-hanga kaagad ako sa aking mga nakita. Buong paligid ay malinis at maayos, talagang masabi mo kaagad na everything is well-tended. Mas lalo akong hanga sa pamamaraan nang pagpamahala nang gobyerno sa kanilang bayan at mamayan. Germany was a solid social state or welfare state.

I said “was” dahil after several years marami na ang mga nagbago dito. The changes has started as the east and west Germany reunited. Several reforms has been implimented in order to support the east financially. The so called wiederaufbau - (economic reconstruction) has swallowed enormous amount of money. Then comes Euro currency…

Ibat-iba ang opinion nang mga tao kong bakit nagkaganito ang sitwasyon ngayon dito. Chancellor Schroeder said kailangan daw higpitan lalo ang belt at magtiis para sa future economical improvement. Kapag ganyang salita na ang sasabihin nang politiko, iisa lang ang ibig sabihin niyan. Hahantung na naman ito sa pagtaas nang ibat-ibang buhis, yon na nga ang nangyari. Tumaas ang mineral oil tax, value-added tax, income tax at iba pa. Kapag tataaas ang taxes siyempre automatic na rin na tataas ang presyo nang mga bilihin, kasama na diyan ang mga insurances at kong ano-ano pa. Taasan na silang lahat except sahod ng mga trabahante at empleyado. Low income na nga cut-off pa ang mga bonus.

Kapag kinukulang ng budget ang goverment, wala na silang ibang alam gawin kundi ang gatasan ang mamamayan. Pati retirement fonds na pinaghihirapan ng mga ordinary citizen ay nagamit na nila. Kaya malamang na ang mga nagtatrabaho ngayon ay wala nang matatanggap na pension when they retire in the future. Samantalang sila, hindi na nga nagbabayad ng taxes, ang laki pa nang kanilang mga sahod bukod pa sa mga benefits na kanilang natatanggap bilang politiko. Bakit hindi nila maisip na sila naman ang mag diyeta? Tuloy kong ano-ano na ang kanilang naiisip na pagkaperahan.

Ang huling isyu na nakakatawa and humiliating at the same time is the planned abolition of October 3 holiday (it’s the reunification day) upps, hindi pala abolition kundi they just wanted to move it on a Sunday. Kailangan daw kasing magtrabaho ang mga tao eh para madagdagan ang tax na makukuha ng gobyerno. Luckily hindi sila nakalusot dahil majority ang nag reklamo. Buti nga!

Nawala na ang aking paghanga at mas lalong hindi na ako bilib sa mga politiko, wether here, Pilipinas o kahit saan. Sabihin na nating may mabubuti, pero majority sa kanila ay bulok at mababantot. Tumataba ang kanilang mga tiyan at bulsa, habang ang mga mamayan ay nagtitiis at nagdurusa.

Dear Beng,

Nandito ako ngayon sa Germany bilang isang studyante. Dahil malapit nang matapos ang aking visa pinayuhan ako nang aking mga kaibigang Pinay na maghanap ng mapangasawa para makapag stay dito. Lito ang aking isipan dahil hindi ko alam kong ano talaga ang dapat kong gawin. Tutuo bang mas maganda ang buhay dito kaysa atin? Tama ba kong susundin ko ang kanilang mga payo?

Confused Gurl

Hello Confused Gurl,

I was sleepy when I was checking my mails…pero nawala na ngayon dahil sa mga tanong mo. Mahirap sagutin ang huli mong tanong, dahil walang ibang taong maka pag judge niyan kong tama ba o mali ang mag-aasawa ka para lang makakakuha nang visa kundi ikaw din mismo. Before you decide, pag-isipan mo munang mabuti. Tanungin mo ang iyong puso at sarili kong kaya mo bang makapiling ang taong hindi mo mahal. You have to set your priorities. Ano ba ang pinaka importante sa iyo? Huwag kang padalos-dalos at lalong-lalo na, do not let other people influence your decision.

Tungkol naman sa buhay dito. Depende sa sarili natin yan…we are the one responsible to make our life beautiful. It also depends to our needs and goals my dear. When it comes to financial matters, well…gaganda lang ang buhay kapag tayo ay magsusumikap. Except of course if you hit the jackpot and marry a rich guy.

By the way, when you write me next time…please be concrete with your questions para mabigyan din kita ng konkretong sagot. Okay?

Truly yours,
Beng

It’s almost one week now that I have started having diet…this time hindi Herbalife and ginamit kong dietary supplement kundi Formoline.

When I was younger…it wasn’t necessary for me to use any of this products. Pero dahil kapag ang tao ay tumatanda na, humihina na rin ang metabolism. It’s utterly a torture if I’m on diet dahil lagi na lang nasa isip ko ang pagkain. Para sa akin hindi lang metabolism ang mahina, pati na rin ang aking will and determination. Lalong-lalo na kapag makikita ko sa weighing scale na halos walang nabawas sa aking timbang.

Ang hirap talaga kapag babae…maraming arte. Well, I think I need to find an inspiration para motivated akong magpapayat. Hmmn, ano kaya? :roll: haay naku, hindi ako makapag-isip kapag gutom. Punta na lang ako nang kusina para magngatngat nang carrot…